A few months ago I picked up a little box of cards at the Lifeway Store. The cards go along with the movie Courageous and are resolution cards for women. This has been a really crappy week (or six) and after John's sermon series this morning on new beginnings, I was happy to find these little devotional cards. It's part of my new beginning and I am going to do my best to blog each of the 40 days of devotions along with my personal feelings for that particular card/devotion.
If I needed further proof that God knows exactly where I am, this little card was it. Honestly, it made me nervous. I wanted to stick this card in the middle of the deck and deal with it another day, but this is the one I need right this moment.
|Memory Verse: "True godliness with contentment is itself great wealth." 1 Timothy 6:6|
I read the card and said, "Really?" Why do I want to celebrate this season of life when it's one of the crappy ones? Right now there is NOTHING I feel like celebrating. I feel like a pressure cooker ready to blow, seriously! I don't dare ask God what else because I'm afraid there will be something else! This is going to be really hard for me to celebrate, but I am trying to see the positives. Although, if someone tells me, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger!" may find out exactly how strong a right hook I have. I'm looking for something profound and spiritual to say right now, but I've got nothing. I know I should embrace the trials; I know the Puritans thought the worse the trials the more honor, but I'm not a Puritan...I'm a Baptist and I don't like struggles and trials. I want things to go smoothly. I want the house to be filled with joy, and love, and laughter....but that isn't the season we're in right now. Right now it's stress, and silence, and fear....and I don't know what to do to fix it.
All I know to do at this season of life is pray. I pray that I will hear God's voice, and I will listen to His wisdom, and He will make it better and carry us into a season of joy.