Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Oh joy, I discovered a little tab on the Blogger thingie that said "New templates", and was thrilled.  Completely filled with joy that I could, once again, change my blog to make it more "me".  WRONG.  I like this one, but it was either blue skies and green grass (I'm just waiting for a "m" bird to show up in the background and really push me over the edge...explanation will be given if you really want it, but just ask my art students what I think about drawing "m" birds...birds do NOT look like M's when they fly...but I digress), anyway, it was either this or one with pink stripes that reminded me way too much of a Victoria's Secret bag.  Somehow that just didn't go with the theme of my blog, maybe because at this point in the journey to a new weight,  Vicki's Secret is not a store in which I will be doing lots of shopping (some of those pants are so low rise if that model sneezes there will be no more Secret!, and cleavage, not my thing.  Just ask my 21 year old, well blessed daughter...I suggested she wear a turtleneck.)

I'm rambling, I'm tired, yet here I am clicking away at the keys like there is someone in cyberspace who hangs on my every word and weeps with joy when they see I have a new post. (If you are that person, please step away from the computer and into the real world because I know I can't be that interesting.)  I guess it's just my place to vent...and ask the stupid questions that make my husband just give me that weird look and shake his head.  He doesn't understand the inner workings of an ADD mind.  (I really think I have ADD, that may explain all the ellipses when I type out a did ellipse get its name?...isn't that just another word for an oval shape?...but these aren't oval shaped....I wonder if we have any ice cream.)

Back to my blog project.  I'm loving this warm weather.  I got out tonight and took a walk, in flip flops because my "walking" shoes give me shin splints.  It's pretty bad when you can walk farther and faster is a pair of Crocs flip flops than you can in an $85 pair of New Balance walking shoes, but I'm not giving up hope, I will, eventually, find the perfect pair of walking shoes.  I'm seriously looking at the Reebok EasyTone, they might be a challenge, I like the looks of them, and they are supposed to help tone your butt and legs (hey, all the girl in the commercial has to do it put them on then drape herself across the bed, I'm really going to walk in mine!).  The Sketchers ShapeUps just didn't thrill me at all, the soles are huge, and I'm already 5'9", if I add the 3" ShapeUps a passerby my mistake me for Towanda, the amazing Amazon woman. (gotta love "Fried Green Tomatoes"). 

So here's the question of the day, do you have the EasyTone shoes, or have you tried them.  What are your suggestions?  I'm interested in your opinion... no, really, I am. 

I think I'll take my frazzled mind to bed now, the fresh air and sunshine did so much to help my disposition this afternoon.  I'm looking forward to another walk tomorrow.  I love spring.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

One year.


Christmas 1974 and the Baby Alive dolls Donna and I wanted so badly.  If you think about it, those things were just gross!

Easter in either '91.  Casey loved "Cat" and wanted you to ride with her.

Christmas 1996, Austin loved your whiskers.
Christmas 2007.  Logan made himself at home in your lap.

Christmas 2008, the last picture I took of you.
It's funny how we remember certain things we did on certain dates.  I remember posting on this very blog exactly one year ago today, and it remeber it being a very short post; that was all I could manage.  One year ago I lost my Daddy to small cell carcinoma lung cancer.  He had valiantly fought the disease for 5 years, but cancer doesn't fight fair and he lost. He would not have lost a fair fight.

Daddy, I miss you.  I think of you every time Austin wants to go fishing.  I know how you would have enjoyed sitting on a river bank or in a John boat with him.  You would laugh at his stories...he always has one.  You would get a kick out of Logan, too.  You would shake your head and say the same thing we do, "where did he come up with that?"  You would get yourselves in trouble by telling him to do something ornery...and he would do it.   You would be amazed at the beautiful young woman your first grandchild has grown to be...and how much she looks and acts like her mother.  You always said she was stubborn...just like her mother, then you would laugh. 

I treasure all the fun times, the camping trips, trips to Rush, and the long nights at rodeo arenas when you would draw up in one of the last go's...maybe it was because I went to the rodeo dance while the rest of you waited to rope? 

I miss you, but I know I will see you again in Heaven.  You told me that, and that is one of the most treasured memories I have.

I have to go to bed now.  I have an awful headache from crying, and I know you would laugh if you could see me, and tell me there was no reason for tears.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Day....? I forgot.

Mom's daffodils...I love spring.

I know, I've been absent from the blog, but I have a really good reason...I've been so discouraged because of the lack of progress.  I'm trying really hard to get healthy, I'm drinking all my water, but I just don't see any progress.  It's just making me want to dive head first into a giant bag of M&M's...and chase that with a very large bowl of vanilla ice, make that Moose Tracks ice cream...the kind with the little caramel covered chocolate balls, ribbons of fudge and caramel, all swirled together into a fantabulous conglomeration of creamy vanilla goodness. Excuse me while I wipe the drool from my chin.

I guess I shouldn't let myself get totally discouraged, at least not for a few days, Aunt Flo came to visit yesterday.  I don't like her, I really wish she wouldn't come to visit me anymore.  She always brings with her her evil brother, Sciatica, and that whiny first cousin, Crampy.  Not a fun family reunion, but I have medicated myself with some new Midol PM, so things should be better tomorrow.  Maybe the bloating will be gone and I'll feel like I've actually lost some pounds.

On another blog (Megon's/Oliver Lane) the question was raised about make up.  Do you wear it?  My answer, absolutely.  I don't want to put others through the horror of seeing me sans makeup.  I have, however, changed brands, I now wear (exclusively) Bare Escentuals. (Hey Leslie, if you read this throw me some free Leslie Blodgett would read my blog....hey, a girl can dream can't she?)   I'm still hoping I'll see the DIY Yard Crashers guy and get to bring him home for a complete landscape makeover....or maybe even Desperate Landscapes....I'm not picky.

Oh, we had a little excitement over the weekend.  Late yesterday afternoon a freakishly sudden storm blew up, and I decided to take a few pictures.  I am not a huge fan of storms, but the clouds were pretty cool looking.  I did realize as I was being pelted by rain and wind, that I do NOT want to pursue a career in storm chasing.  Maybe I'll just take a few quick shots from the safety of my own porch.

Storm clouds coming in fast.
The advancing front.  Those clouds were hauling it across the sky

The back of the front.  Notice the clear skies way back on the horizon.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Days 10 & 11

Not much to report other than I woke up with a sick headache today and still feel like crud.  The headache is coming back, maybe because Casey decided to cook a little microwaveable chocolate things that's supposed to take 30 seconds, but she accidentally added an extra zero, and 2 mintues later, after smoke filled the house, she realized her mistake.  Now the house smells like scorched brownies, but the Lampe Berger is working its magic to get the smell out. 

Yesterday I had a Silpada party, and if you haven't seen this line of jewelry you need to, it's gorgeous!  I have a wish list as long as my arm; the hard part will be paring it down to the peices I really, really like. 

Tomorrow is our anniversary.  I wonder what I could do for Chris.  I think I'll grill some steaks and bake a few potatoes, he will like that.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Day 9

Somehow I skipped blogging yesterday; maybe it was because I had to make a mad dash to the grocery store because I knew I couldn’t do it tonight and we were out of everything, and my family was beginning to think I was punishing them by giving them nothing but bread and water…wait, that’s not true, we were out of bread. Casey went with me, and we made some pretty good choices. I think she’s getting on the bandwagon with me. It helps to have a menu planned rather than just walking down the aisles thinking, “Oooh, that looks really good!”

Today, however, was another test of willpower, parent/teacher conferences. You’re probably thinking it’s from the stress of having to talk to parents, but with only 1 ½ hours left in conference time, I’ve had 1, yes ONE, parent, and this student has something like a 94% percent, so it was a good conference. Basically, I sit here for 4 hours…well, longer than that because school dismisses at 12:30 and parents can drop in any time after that…with not much to do. The test comes from the potluck that some of the other teachers think we can’t make it through P/T conference day without. On the menu today, chili; I didn’t eat it, it is 72 degrees outside and chili just didn’t do it for me today. I would have voted for a deli sandwich tray, but there wasn’t a vote. I tried to do my part for healthy and brought a fruit pizza for dessert (reduced cal. Sugar cookie dough, lite cream cheese, and lots of fresh fruit). It was a pretty good hit, but the dessert table was loaded with pecan pie, chocolate cake with gooey chocolate icing, coconut cream pie (not a temptation for me), and cheesecake. Yep, it had to be cheesecake. I resisted the chili and chose 7 layer salad and Mexican dip instead. I had a piece of my fruit pizza and then I came back to my classroom. That cheesecake is calling my name. Maybe when I go back to pick up my dish it will all be gone and the crisis will be averted. I hope so; I need all the help I can get! I have managed to get extra water in today, though, which probably means I will be up all night, but we won’t go there. Having a liter bottle really helps me keep track, and since I’ve been forcing so much water my ankles haven’t been so swollen. Did I mention I have a concrete floor? Standing on it all day makes the dogs tired.

Oh, we went through the new high school building with Mr. Mike (the general contractor) today. He pointed out where all the fixtures and everything will be, and told us the cabinet guy would be here a week from Monday. I’m so excited, it won’t be much longer! I’ll definitely have some pictures of my new classroom to show you…maybe even a video…hmmm, there’s an idea.

Enough ramblings from a scattered mind, I need to go get my dish… maybe there will be one little slice of fruit pizza left….and no cheesecake.

Oh, did I mention I got new shoes?  I'm ready for warm weather!  I love shoes!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Day 7

This morning was one of “those” mornings which almost caused me to go off the wagon and dive headfirst into a large pile of biscuits and gravy chased by an extra large Diet Dr. Pepper, but I resisted. How I do not know, but to help alleviate the problem both my male offspring have been reconciled to mornings without TV. The term “A Vast Wasteland” is definitely accurate, because they were so involved in Phineas and Ferb they did not hear their mother’s voice saying, “Get dressed and eat breakfast.” No, but maybe they will listen to me in the morning and I won’t feel guilty about bringing children to school hungry. I wonder what the rest of this day has in store?

So far so good, it is now 2:15, and other than one of my 7th grade girls insisting on singing “Eye of the Tiger” and “Hungry Like the Wolf” in a squeaky, off-key voice, it’s been a pretty good day. It should improve after school, not because I won’t have to listen to teenagers, but because I’m getting my hair cut. What is it about a new ‘do that lifts our spirits? I wonder how much weight that will take off….my hair is pretty thick…?

Since it will be a little later when I get home tonight, I’m thinking Subway for supper. We all like it, and it isn’t horrible in fat and calories (unlike KFC, which I really like).

By the end of school my day had greatly improved, but I knew something was up when Logan came in my room and said, “I don’t feel good, I think I need to go home and go to bed.” That always means something’s up, and my gut feeling was right, he had to change a card first thing this morning. I guess his day was pretty lousy, poor kid.

(Doesn't this face look pitiful.  He got in trouble for having to change a card.  Poor kid)

I guess all my rambling is to say one thing, even with all the stress of the day; I managed to stay on track and drown myself in chocolate and ice cream. Maybe I’m beginning to break old habits, like stress eating.  Another small victory for me.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Day 6

Day 6, and I'm still on the right track.  I honestly think blogging is helping to keep me honest, but I know (if anyone reads this) you are probably tired of hearing about my fat.  I'll try to keep it as brief as possible. 

I have heard so many people talk about how they enjoy exercize and how wonderful it feels to work yourself into a lather while your face turns red and you gasp for air like a beached fish.  I just have one thing to say about lie!  I do NOT enjoy sweating, I do not enjoy the burning sensation in my lungs as I'm gasping for air.  Some people even say they love to run.  I ran enough when I played high school basketball, and if any of you had Karen Pickering for a coach you know just how much we ran...especially if you missed any freethrows in a ballgame, which I was known to do more often than not.   I don't enjoy running.  I guess because I'm 43 and one of my knees complains in the most unkind manner (waking me up from a sound sleep yelling "Charliehorse!", then throbbing for several days...and there is that issue with my kneecap slipping out of place.  I guess I'm just difficult to please, but I'm always looking for a workout that is fun, really fun; one you want to do again.  Well, I finally found it.  Casey and I pushed the chairs back in the basement, popped in the DVD, and went to it, at least we tried.   I can say in all honesty that Julianne Hough kicked my the warmup...and I realize just how uncoordinated I really am.  If you like dancing, and you like the show Dancing With The Stars, try this.  It's fun.  I recommend the jive, it's set to very upbeat 50's music and you will definitely move...and sweat...followed by wheezing, but it's FUN!

We have 3 more dance/fitness DVDs to try, another DWTS video, a Dirty Dancing workout (Oh, Patrick Swayze we miss you), and a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders workout (that one is Casey's but I promised to give it a try, but without the high kick directly to splits...we don't want to bother the first responders).   I'll give you reviews on the other, but for now Julianne is my trainer, but I really wish they would have asked before they photoshopped her head onto my body! (it should be a crime to be that fit!)

Monday, March 15, 2010

Day 5, and seeing a little progress

Wow, what a difference a week can make. For the last 2 days my ankles have not been swollen at night or in the morning. I’ve really been watching the caffeine & sodium, namely Diet Dr. Pepper and Coke Zero, and I have greatly increased my intake of water. All I noticed the first few days was just more frequent trips to the bathroom, but now it’s paying off.

Casey and I tried to walk tonight, and I realized my shoes are NOT the best walking shoes, after ½ a mile my shins were really hurting and I knew I was headed toward shin splints. (Ouch!) My next purchase will be a really good pair of walking shoes. I want to go to Footlocker (I think that’s the place) where they have you step on a special treadmill and it shows exactly how your weight lands on your foot. It’s supposed to really help by having the cushioning in all the right places instead of all the wrong places. It’s pretty bad when I can speed walk in a pair of Clark’s mules better than I can in cross trainers!
Tomorrow, instead of walking, we’re going to break out the “Dancing with the Stars” workout. I’m really looking forward to this one, I think it should be fun and not feel like exercise. Who knows, I may make it on the show someday. (Hey, if Kate Gosselin can do it why can’t I?)

I thought I would really have some witty observations tonight, but it’s not happening. We did have a little excitement this afternoon. The walls started shaking and pictures started rattling, and I went outside on the deck just in time to see 4 huge Chinook military helicopters fly over. The kids were in the basement and ran upstairs telling me the pictures on the walls were shaking down there, too. Cool! Logan was a little disappointed that he didn’t get to see them closer, but if he had been a little quicker he would have. Chris guessed they were only about 50 feet above the house. In all the excitement, I forgot to grab my camera…but if they were on some big secret military op they might have confiscated it and since I have a wedding to shoot on April 10th, it’s a good thing I didn’t.

So that’s it for today. Tune in tomorrow when we hear Sharmin say, “What I wouldn’t give for a big bowl of ice cream.”

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Day 4

Score one for me, a major hurdle in the battle of the bulge.  Austin had shooting practice this afternoon, and was thirsty when I picked him up.  We made a quick trip by the convenience store, and I made the conscious decision NOT to grab a snack along with him.  I did have a Coke Zero, and after a week without one, it was magical.  I"ve nursed it all afternoon and still have a little left.  It's like desert in a bottle! (ha)

For supper I decided to break out one of my old recipes; it was so good I wonder why I hadn't made it in a while.  It's my variation on stir fry.  Lean chicken, fresh broccoli, carrots, and bell peppers, (sauteed in some EVOO) and Long grain and wild rice.  It's a great one skillet meal.  I will be making it again, soon.

I can't help but laugh a little because I would enjoy this blog so much more if I were taking a clue from Julie & Julia and cooking...and way through a cookbook.  But I guess this is a better step than those, this is for my health and for my future.  I don't want to have to be on meds for blood pressure and diabetes, but the Doc said that was the way I was headed.   I've really thought about that this weekend.  I'm already the oldest mom in Logan's Kindergarten class (yes I am, I can't think of one mom younger than me, and I used to babysit a couple of the moms or dads!)  I want to be able to do things with him, I want to be active, I want to enjoy playing with him.  

On another note, this stupid time change has really messed me up!  I'm all for longer daylight hours, but I'm not for losing and hour of sleep, especially when I don't get enough sleep at night as it is.  I wonder how many grouchy kids I'll have at school tomorrow? 

Tomorrow begins the new habit of regular exercize.  I've resisted chocolate, I can do the exercize, I actually enjoy doing things outside, so it should be an easy one....I'll let you know!

Good night.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Day 3

I guess I can call this a good day.  One positive about having a sinus infection is the lack of appetite, maybe that was God's way of giving me a jumpstart.  My food choices have been very good today, too, and I don't feel deprived.  Frozen red seedless grapes are a great snack, so is a Jell-O pudding cup.

I've been thinking about the whole issue of weight, why do some people become so attached to food, and some avoid it?  One of my best friends is a recovering anorexic and we've had so many good converations.  She saw food as something she didn't deserve, she was somehow punshing herself for something; it was a control issue.  It began with some feeling of inferiority, someone told her she wasn't very smart, but at least she was thin. (which is stupid because she is smart), and it became an addiction, and addiction to be thin.  Food was never a comfort to her, and large, extended family meals were not a pleasant experience. 

As I was thinking about that, I realized that all the pleasant times in my life somehow seemed to center around food.  Our large, extended family gatherings are always filled with food and fun.  It was a time to relax and enjoy, and there was always some new dish or dessert that needed to be sampled. Growing up in a family of wonderful cooks didn't help things, either.  Maybe food was my medication, it made me was a crutch.  I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm bored... it's a bad habit that I'm struggling to break.  Got any ideas?   That's the big issue I have to start working on, to eat when I'm hungry, and that's it! 

Now I just need to start working on the lack of exercize!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Day 2

Day one was posted a day late because of no internet connection last night. After 30+ minutes on the phone with Centurytel ... I mean Centurylink, we finally came to the realization that along with Williford, and Mammoth Spring, Hilltop (wherever that is), the relay that supplies our DSL was out, too. After a few heart palpitations and wondering how I would make it through the night without Facebook, I realized I must have that dreaded disease, internetitis, so I shut down my laptop and picked up a book. It was nice. I plan on doing it more often.

Today was a good day, scrambled eggs (sans the cheese) for breakfast, a Lean Cuisine for lunch, a handful of whole grain crackers for a snack, and 2 full liters of water (with Crystal Light because the only way I really like water is frozen with a Diet Dr. Pepper poured over it), but now comes temptation time. Mom called last night and suggested we go out for supper tonight, her treat...we said yes. I AM going to make good choices tonight, but I won't go overboard and I won't dprive myself. I can do this...right?

Oh, and here's the red dress...I think I can...I think I can...I think I can....

9:45 pm.   Supper was good, the company was great (Mom, Chris & the kids, Lance, Lindsay, and cutie pie Landon), and we ate at Fred's Fish House.  I did have the catfish, and it was fried, but I ate until I was satisfied, not until I was so full I couldn't move.  Baby steps. . . small changes, small successes.

It begins...

You may have noticed the change in the look of my blog, that’s because it is about to take a new direction. This blog is going to be a tool to help keep me honest over the next 3 months of my journey to drop 25 lbs. No, I’m not doing because summer is quickly approaching and I don’t want to look like a beached whale, I’m doing it because my doctor told me I had to. My blood pressure has been a little high (but remember, I do teach 7th graders) and my blood sugar has been on the high side of normal for the last couple of years, so it’s time to take control and become a healthier me…and if I happen to look better in a swimsuit I’ll consider it a bonus.

So what does this have to do with a red dress? Everything. I felt my best when I could wear the red dress, the red bandana print little sleeveless number that fell right above my knee. That dress is special, too, because it was the dress I wore on our first date, and Chris really liked it. It made me sad when I found it shoved in the dark recesses of my closet, I really wanted to wear it, but there was absolutely no way I could ever get it zipped. When did I gain this weight? It crept up on me over the last few years and has made itself at home, now it won’t go away…at least not without some encouragement from me. So today begins that journey and the Red Dress Project.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, I have no idea how much I weigh. I refused to look at the scales at the doctor’s office because I was already having a pretty lousy day (sinus infection), and I knew just seeing that number would make things worse. (Thanks, Dr. H, for bringing it up) So how am I going to know how much weight I’ve lost? Easy, I have this pair of jeans that are very snug, and I have a pair of jeans I wore during the same time as the red dress (just couldn’t part with those, either, hoping the magic weight removal fairy would show up and I would somehow, miraculously be able to wake up one morning and zip them with no trouble). I will gauge my success by the fit of the clothing, and should I lose more than 25 lbs. by June 8 (the date I go back to see the doctor) then I shall celebrate….with cheesecake.

I can use all the encouragement I can get, so if you feel led to leave a comment, please do, I’m like a kid at Christmas when I find I have comments. If you have something negative to say, go eat a cookie and remember these words of wisdom from the movie “Bambi” …”If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.”