He's gone.

Daddy went to be with Jesus at 7:32 this morning. I was holding his hand.

A week long roller coaster ride.

I just realized it has been almost a week since I posted an update on things, but some things are just too hard to see in words. I've started typing a post numerous times, but ended up deleting it all because it was just not what I wanted to see in print.

I left the hospital Wednesday thinking everything was going really well, but Wednesday night Daddy started having heart problems, but he did, finally, respond to the meds for that. He was moved to Hospice House on Thursday, but has continued to improve. He is still having trouble swallowing and we were told that reflex may never come back. His doctor also told us that he is nearing the end. His body is wearing out. Daddy has not accepted the fact that he won't get better, and I'm afraid he will just give up if he does accept it. Twyla (step-mom) told me tonight that he (dr.) said it could be a month or less, we just don't know. I know that God has a time and no matter what we want, His timing is always right. I just hate to see Daddy have to go through this. He has reached the point that morphine is the only thing that controls the pain, but it's making him so forgetful. I hate cancer!

I'm just a big whiner tonight, this should be our week of spring break, but because of the ice earlier in the year, we are in school this week. To add insult to injury, we also have parent/teacher conferences Friday night! Such is life, at least we will be out of school on May 21st or 22nd, and not the first week of June like some of the schools around us who are taking a spring break, anyway.

A little bright spot, Gary, Alanna, and the twins were up Sunday and Lance & Lindsay brought sweet Landon over, and I got a really cute shot of the 5 youngest grand kids. Where was Casey, you ask, she met Brandon in Texarkana this weekend. I'm so happy she's found a nice guy, but why does he have to be in Texas? (I don't have a thing against Texas, but I do have a thing about my little girl moving 9 hours away....if it comes to that!)

Enough grouchiness for one night. Please continue to pray for Daddy, I know that prayer is what we have to rely on right now, if not for healing then for the strength to handle what is to come.

Another encouraging day

I sat with Daddy at the hospital today and we had a very encouraging day. He was able to get out of his bed under his own power, he took a couple of steps, and he sat in a chair for a while today. He is still having much difficulty swallowing, but I'm praying that this will begin to improve as quickly as the other things. He is also having some trouble with fine motor skills in his left hand, but considering where he was Monday night, this is an amazingly quick recovery.

I had to laugh this afternoon because we were talking about his physical therapy and I asked him if he wanted me to run to the store and get him some pajama pants. He said, "Yes, if they're gonna walk me down the hall I don't want my rear end shining!" His physical therapy was ordered today, but the therapists couldn't get to him, so it will begin tomorrow. He was very tired tonight, after being able to get up today, and I'm hoping he has a more restful night tonight.

I know your prayers are with us and they are working, I appreciate them all.

A day of good news

Whoever said prayers don't make a difference are WRONG! Prayers are working, so please keep praying. By the time I left the hospital tonight Daddy was able to squeeze your hand with his left hand, he was able to swallow some soft foods (Casey & Shelby...my DD and neice...went to Wendy's and got him a Frosty and he was able to get about 1/4 of it down. He is talking much better and you can understand most of what he is saying. He is, however, very stubborn and wants out of there! He keeps trying to get out of bed, and the nurse had to set the bed alarm. He isn't as strong as he thinks he is and got a little annoyed with us when we told him he had to wait on a physical therapist.

He is now on Morphine for pain, but the other pain med that was causing him hallucinations and nightmares is gone, we can handle Morphine for how ever long he has left. His heart rate has finally stablized and is in normal range, so he is out of danger of a heart attack, too. Tonight I rubbed his back because he is very tired of lying in bed, and tomorrow I'm taking the good muscle rub (Sombra) with me and will give him another back massage. He was resting when we left, the pain meds had kicked in and he had a warm blanket.

He will remian in the hospital for at least a couple more days, after that he will be moved to a transition hospice care at Hospice House of the Ozarks. Don't panic, his stay is only planned for 2-3 weeks where he will recieve 24/7 nursing care and my step-mom will be able to stay in the room with him; they will have a bed for her. When he leaves the hospice house and gets to come home, he will have a hospice care nurse to stay with him during the day. He has to have these nurses because he is on a controlled drug now and everything has to be carefully monitored. He did tell me this afternoon that some men from their church came to see him and had prayer time with him, which really made his day. I have a sub coming in for me tomorrow so I can stay with him while Tammy & Twyla (stepsister & step-mom) go home and get some much needed rest. I may stay with him tomorrow night, we will see.

Thank you for all your prayers, we are feeling them and know that is why he is making such remarkable strides in such a short time. I know God is on His throne and His way is the best way. I also know, that no matter what may lie ahead, He will take care of us if we remember to lean on Him.

**** On a side note, I will be taking my computer with me to the hospital, but I don't know if I can get a wireless service there, we will see. If not, I should be able to get lots of writing done.

Urgent Prayer Request

Last night my dad had a stroke. There is also the possibility that he may have had a mild heart attack, but we won't know anything until the doctors do an EEG this morning. He has lung cancer, and 2 weeks ago he had some excruciating pain; the cancer had eaten completely through his lung. Please pray for him as we deal with the latest health issues. He is in ICU and more tests will be done this morning. Last night, though, the CT Scan showed there was NO bleeding on his brain, which is a good sign. His left side was paralyzed last night, but he was alert, knew where he was, and what was going on, but he was very difficult to understand.

I know that God is good, and no matter what the outcome it will be His will and it will be okay. I will update as I get a chance, but it may be later tonight.

Spring forward!

It looks like spring has finally arrived. I'm so glad, I love the warm weather and sunshine, even if the wind is blowing really hard.

It's been a wild week around here. Our senior girls (Viola Lady Longhorns) made it to the semi finals of the state tournament. The first time in over 40 years that the girls' team has gone to state. I'm so proud of them. They lost the semifinal game last night to a team that is expected to win it all, and they only lost by 4 or 6. Austin rode the pep bus to the game the last 2 nights. I really wanted to go watch them, but it just didn't happen.

Wednesday night I didn't feel very well so we didn't make it to Awanas. Chris came in a little later and said he needed help. We had a new calf born and his mamma didn't act like she wanted him, so we had to lock them in a pen together. During all this process our blue heeler (Darrell) was trying to help us and the cow got him down. He limped around, but we thought he was just sore. Yesterday morning (Saturday) he still wasn't acting much better so I took him to the vet. Poor D had a dislocated hip. The knocked him out, put his hip back in place, and taped it so he is immobilized. We have to keep this dog as still as possible for a week!

Last night wasn't great, either. We lost a mamma cow and her calf, and had another mamma who can't get up very well. At lest she's still alive and so is her calf, but it looks like we may have a bottle calf because the cow can't stand up long enough for her calf to nurse. It's not been a great week around here!

At least I did notice the jonquils breaking through the weeds which really lifted my spririts. There's just something about seeing those bright yellow flowers that really helps my mood.