Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Don't be fooled...

….things aren't always as they seem.

Like this little clip.  Have you seen this?

John Deere Commercial

Especially the guy who says, "That yellow seat is my favorite chair."  Yeah, right!  If that's the truth this guy is nuts!

I'm a big fan of John Deere.  I love The Beast (I wrote about it a couple of years ago) of a mower we have, but "perfectly level fresh cut grass" is not something achievable in our yard, probably because we don't have a "perfectly level" yard!  I managed to master the art of our zero-turn John Deere mower and can use it really well….if you don't count the sacrifice of 2 baby oak trees and a couple of lawnmower blades.

I may be one of those weirdos who really does enjoy mowing. (not kidding)  The hubs works really hard, and often long hours, so I thought it would be very considerate of me to mow the yard. (now I'm thinking homemade cinnamon rolls would have been a better idea!)

I started this chore 2 days ago.  It was hot, it was dusty, but I was determined.  Our "yard" is only about 4 acres.  We live in north central Arkansas.  We have a bumper crop of rocks…and dirt.  We live in grow zone 7, which means weeds flourish. (ragweed, fescue, Johnson grass, lespedeza (sp?), crab grass, orchard grass, rye grass, along with several allergen laden green things (those are really more weeds than grass), and the sprinkling of Bermuda grass we are desperately trying to encourage.

I have almost decided there are tiny creatures living in the grass who do not want their homes disturbed so they are sabotaging all my attempts at "perfectly level fresh cut grass".  I mowed the front yard with minimal trouble (if you don't count rocks, mole hills, tree roots, and ruts that came from somewhere unbeknownst to me)….then I ran out of gas. (Thankfully, the oldest boy had filled the gas can so that was only a minor setback.)  
half the front yard

looking to the side

Mower refilled, and I was once again rocking along listening to my iPod to drown out the sounds of rocks and mower blades colliding, then it happened….a terrible noise heard above the music in my ears.  In the split second it took to hear the sound, I also realized the ratchet strap which had been on the mower deck at my feet was no longer there.  Yep, it had bounced off and was now thouroughly entwined around the mower blades.   

Being the problem solver I am, I stopped the blades, turned the mower toward the house, parked it in the garage, and came in to take a shower.  Hubs wasn't really thrilled with me when he got home, but he calmly cut the strap (which he uses (used) to hold the sprayer tank onto the four wheeler), and, I'm sure, silently thanked God I hadn't really torn the thing up.  

The majority of the yard, however, remained uncut.

Today, since school is out and I'm a stay-home-mom for the summer, I decided to finish.  I probably should have prayed for rain.  

My first problem was the sneezing fit which occurred approximately 8 minutes (or 2 iPod songs) into my chore.  (It's difficult to sing along with Little Big Town while you're sneezing!)  As if the sneezes weren't enough, the problem was compounded by the fact that I am 47, have given birth to 3 children, and had a hysterectomy (some of you ladies will understand…things happen when you sneeze, cough, or laugh vigorously.  (TMI?)   A short bathroom break followed.

Once again enthroned on the yellow seat, I began the rough terrain of the side yard.  There is one particular area with ruts deep enough it might be a safer alternative to a tornado shelter than the basement. (okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but a tractor did get stuck there last year)  Still sneezing, and bouncing, and doing my best to avoid the dead briars, still clinging to the fence like the guardian hedge in Sleeping Beauty, I continued….for a couple of minutes.  Yep, the mower ran out of gas, again, but this time, the big gas can had less than a pint in it, just enough to get the Beast started and moved to the garage.  The only explanation I have for running out of gas this quickly is, either someone has been joyriding on the lawn mower, or grass fairies (who don't want their homes disturbed) are siphoning gas from the mower as we sleep. (I'm leaning toward #2).

I could make a trip into town, fill the gas can, and continue the job, but my itchy, watery eyes don't want to, and after 2 Benedryl caplets and a shower, I've decided a nap sounds much better.  

Oh, that just for the record, that yellow seat in the NOT my favorite chair….the soft club chair (with the matching ottoman) in which the posterior end of my anatomy currently rests in my favorite chair.  

Sorry John Deere!

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