He's gone.

Daddy went to be with Jesus at 7:32 this morning. I was holding his hand.

A week long roller coaster ride.

I just realized it has been almost a week since I posted an update on things, but some things are just too hard to see in words. I've started typing a post numerous times, but ended up deleting it all because it was just not what I wanted to see in print.

I left the hospital Wednesday thinking everything was going really well, but Wednesday night Daddy started having heart problems, but he did, finally, respond to the meds for that. He was moved to Hospice House on Thursday, but has continued to improve. He is still having trouble swallowing and we were told that reflex may never come back. His doctor also told us that he is nearing the end. His body is wearing out. Daddy has not accepted the fact that he won't get better, and I'm afraid he will just give up if he does accept it. Twyla (step-mom) told me tonight that he (dr.) said it could be a month or less, we just don't know. I know that God has a time and no matter what we want, His timing is always right. I just hate to see Daddy have to go through this. He has reached the point that morphine is the only thing that controls the pain, but it's making him so forgetful. I hate cancer!

I'm just a big whiner tonight, this should be our week of spring break, but because of the ice earlier in the year, we are in school this week. To add insult to injury, we also have parent/teacher conferences Friday night! Such is life, at least we will be out of school on May 21st or 22nd, and not the first week of June like some of the schools around us who are taking a spring break, anyway.

A little bright spot, Gary, Alanna, and the twins were up Sunday and Lance & Lindsay brought sweet Landon over, and I got a really cute shot of the 5 youngest grand kids. Where was Casey, you ask, she met Brandon in Texarkana this weekend. I'm so happy she's found a nice guy, but why does he have to be in Texas? (I don't have a thing against Texas, but I do have a thing about my little girl moving 9 hours away....if it comes to that!)

Enough grouchiness for one night. Please continue to pray for Daddy, I know that prayer is what we have to rely on right now, if not for healing then for the strength to handle what is to come.

Another encouraging day

I sat with Daddy at the hospital today and we had a very encouraging day. He was able to get out of his bed under his own power, he took a couple of steps, and he sat in a chair for a while today. He is still having much difficulty swallowing, but I'm praying that this will begin to improve as quickly as the other things. He is also having some trouble with fine motor skills in his left hand, but considering where he was Monday night, this is an amazingly quick recovery.

I had to laugh this afternoon because we were talking about his physical therapy and I asked him if he wanted me to run to the store and get him some pajama pants. He said, "Yes, if they're gonna walk me down the hall I don't want my rear end shining!" His physical therapy was ordered today, but the therapists couldn't get to him, so it will begin tomorrow. He was very tired tonight, after being able to get up today, and I'm hoping he has a more restful night tonight.

I know your prayers are with us and they are working, I appreciate them all.

A day of good news

Whoever said prayers don't make a difference are WRONG! Prayers are working, so please keep praying. By the time I left the hospital tonight Daddy was able to squeeze your hand with his left hand, he was able to swallow some soft foods (Casey & Shelby...my DD and neice...went to Wendy's and got him a Frosty and he was able to get about 1/4 of it down. He is talking much better and you can understand most of what he is saying. He is, however, very stubborn and wants out of there! He keeps trying to get out of bed, and the nurse had to set the bed alarm. He isn't as strong as he thinks he is and got a little annoyed with us when we told him he had to wait on a physical therapist.

He is now on Morphine for pain, but the other pain med that was causing him hallucinations and nightmares is gone, we can handle Morphine for how ever long he has left. His heart rate has finally stablized and is in normal range, so he is out of danger of a heart attack, too. Tonight I rubbed his back because he is very tired of lying in bed, and tomorrow I'm taking the good muscle rub (Sombra) with me and will give him another back massage. He was resting when we left, the pain meds had kicked in and he had a warm blanket.

He will remian in the hospital for at least a couple more days, after that he will be moved to a transition hospice care at Hospice House of the Ozarks. Don't panic, his stay is only planned for 2-3 weeks where he will recieve 24/7 nursing care and my step-mom will be able to stay in the room with him; they will have a bed for her. When he leaves the hospice house and gets to come home, he will have a hospice care nurse to stay with him during the day. He has to have these nurses because he is on a controlled drug now and everything has to be carefully monitored. He did tell me this afternoon that some men from their church came to see him and had prayer time with him, which really made his day. I have a sub coming in for me tomorrow so I can stay with him while Tammy & Twyla (stepsister & step-mom) go home and get some much needed rest. I may stay with him tomorrow night, we will see.

Thank you for all your prayers, we are feeling them and know that is why he is making such remarkable strides in such a short time. I know God is on His throne and His way is the best way. I also know, that no matter what may lie ahead, He will take care of us if we remember to lean on Him.

**** On a side note, I will be taking my computer with me to the hospital, but I don't know if I can get a wireless service there, we will see. If not, I should be able to get lots of writing done.

Urgent Prayer Request

Last night my dad had a stroke. There is also the possibility that he may have had a mild heart attack, but we won't know anything until the doctors do an EEG this morning. He has lung cancer, and 2 weeks ago he had some excruciating pain; the cancer had eaten completely through his lung. Please pray for him as we deal with the latest health issues. He is in ICU and more tests will be done this morning. Last night, though, the CT Scan showed there was NO bleeding on his brain, which is a good sign. His left side was paralyzed last night, but he was alert, knew where he was, and what was going on, but he was very difficult to understand.

I know that God is good, and no matter what the outcome it will be His will and it will be okay. I will update as I get a chance, but it may be later tonight.

Spring forward!

It looks like spring has finally arrived. I'm so glad, I love the warm weather and sunshine, even if the wind is blowing really hard.

It's been a wild week around here. Our senior girls (Viola Lady Longhorns) made it to the semi finals of the state tournament. The first time in over 40 years that the girls' team has gone to state. I'm so proud of them. They lost the semifinal game last night to a team that is expected to win it all, and they only lost by 4 or 6. Austin rode the pep bus to the game the last 2 nights. I really wanted to go watch them, but it just didn't happen.

Wednesday night I didn't feel very well so we didn't make it to Awanas. Chris came in a little later and said he needed help. We had a new calf born and his mamma didn't act like she wanted him, so we had to lock them in a pen together. During all this process our blue heeler (Darrell) was trying to help us and the cow got him down. He limped around, but we thought he was just sore. Yesterday morning (Saturday) he still wasn't acting much better so I took him to the vet. Poor D had a dislocated hip. The knocked him out, put his hip back in place, and taped it so he is immobilized. We have to keep this dog as still as possible for a week!

Last night wasn't great, either. We lost a mamma cow and her calf, and had another mamma who can't get up very well. At lest she's still alive and so is her calf, but it looks like we may have a bottle calf because the cow can't stand up long enough for her calf to nurse. It's not been a great week around here!

At least I did notice the jonquils breaking through the weeds which really lifted my spririts. There's just something about seeing those bright yellow flowers that really helps my mood.

Please pray...

My grandmother called me this afternoon very upset. Today, shortly before noon, their pastor drowned in a boating accident. He and 3 other men from the church had taken advantage of a beautiful day and went fishing on the lake. I don't know exactly what happened, but there was an accident and Brother Russ was taken home to be with Jesus. One of the other men was air lifted to St. John's hospital, one was taken to a local hospital, and one of walked away.

Please pray for the Frist Christian Church in Flippin, AR, for all the church members, and for the Dunham family. Brother Russ Dunham leaves behind his wife, Lesa, and 3 young children. I know this family would be greatful for prayers as they come to grips with the accident and try to make sense of it all.

Spring?

Technically, it may still be winter, but our cows have decided it's spring and time to start having calves. I love this time of year! Last night Chris came in and said he had to have help, we had a 1st calf heifer trying to have her calf and it just wasn't coming, so Casey grabbed her boots and headed to the barn with him. I had to put on jeans because I'd already gotten comfy in the flannel pants, but I followed with camera in hand. I was absolutely no help, but I did get some great pictures. Chris pulled the calf and it wasn't long before the mamma was working him over trying to get him up. He was BIG! We had gotten spoiled, this is the first one he's had to pull in 2 years. We have 6 calves on the ground now, 2 from our bull and 4 that I call "free gifts with purchase". We bought 9 "open" heifers and 4 of them have had calves. Cute little surprises!

Spring, to me, is a time of rebirth and renewal, a new season. Spring always reminds me of the verses in Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

I think, as Christians, we are like those new calves, we have new birth in Christ, He cleans us up, helps us stand on wobbly legs, nourishes us, and helps us grow while He stands beside us. How quickly we grow and how strong we become is totally up to us, and this spring, I'm choosing to grow by reading and studying His word. How about you? We have missed 3 weeks of church because of illness, but tomorrow we will get back into the groove. I love my church, it's a place of encouragement, strength, and comfort. To see my children grow and flourish in Lord just makes my heart soar. God is good, even in the storms, He is good!

Too tired to blog?

Why is it so difficult to get back into the groove after you've been sick? I'm so tired tonight I came in from school, stretched out on the bed (before I changed clothes) and fell asleep! I'm almost tempted to try one of those energy drinks the teenagers seem to be so fond of, but I'd rather not be awake for 3 days, so scratch that idea. Hey, maybe I'll go to bed early tonight, there's a novel idea!

Today I had a run-in with a couple of my 11th grade boys. I know why the day didn't go well; I didn't pray for these kids today before they came in my room. It resulted in him making some very rude comments, me ordering him out of my classroom and to the office, then my having to step outside the door to regain my composure. I was about to unload with both barrels on his little friends who were also making smart remarks. To make it worse, I got a new student today and he had to be there on the day that it all hit the fan. Pray for these boys, they need the Lord in the worst way. They seem to have no respect for women or the girls at school, they are vulgar, rude, and need to be under conviction! (Maybe that's just my wishful thinking, maybe I want to place them under conviction, but I can't even come close to what God can do.)

I'm making myself a note so I won't forget to pray for these kids, even the ones who just drive me nuts! So many of them have circumstances that would be difficult for adults to deal with it's no wonder they have attitude problems.

Lord, help me to hear Your still, small voice, and help me to pray for these kids, use me in for Your glory, and never let me forget that we are ALL made in Your image. Amen

Happy Valentine's Day!

It's been another of "those" weeks, the ones that make you want to sing the old Kris Kristofferson song "Why Me, Lord?" After 15 days without electricity, we finally had power restored, that same afternoon I got sick, really, really sick. I ran a high temp for a couple of days, and couldn't even muster the strength to get out of bed. Chris was sick, Austin was sick, and Logan was just getting over being sick. We were a sad bunch. Today was better, though, I actually ate solid food after 4 or 5 days of liquids. Those liquid diets really work, but I don't recommend them unless you are intent on self-torture, add a fever of 103 and it will take the excess fluid off your body...but I digress. I felt even better when my brother called and said they were coming to Mom's. I love my brother, and I love my sister-in-law, but it was Landon I was wanting to see (sorry Lance & Lindsay, but it was bound to happen when you had that sweet baby).

This afternoon I spent a couple of happy hours just snuggling my baby nephew. I wouldn't give him up, he was mine today. If you had asked me if you could hold him I would have told you no...okay, I might have let you hold him for a couple of minutes...maybe 5, but no longer. I also took some really sweet photos of him. Oh, how I wish I didn't live an hour from them! Logan crawled up on my while I was holding him, patted his little hand, and said, "Mom, I think we need to babysit Baby Landon at our house. We can take him home with us and Lance and Lindsay can take a nap." I think he has listened to us talk about how many times Landon wakes up during the night. LOL You just can't beat the wisdom of a 4-year-old.

So that's it, that's how we spent Valentine's day. Our fancy dinner will be a pizza (if I can talk Chris into going to town and picking one up), and our entertainment will be whatever delights Dish has in store for us tonight; we do have several episodes of NCIS Dvr'd, so that's always an option.

Some cheese with my whine?

When I was a kid I wanted to be Laura Ingalls Wilder, complete with dark brown braids. I read the tales of her life and thought how much fun it would be to live that pioneer family life. I have since changed my mind. With the ice storm and loss of power, (we are on day 7); I have come to the realization that I quite enjoy being a modern woman who is completely reliant on modern transportation, technology, and electricity! Those frontier women were tough! Thankfully, we still have generator power, but we are dealing with some water issues and our generator kicking off at the well pump. I love living in rural Arkansas; I love being out on the farm away from all the traffic; I don’t love not having electricity.
I am trying to be cheerful about all this, but it’s getting increasingly difficult to remain upbeat about putting a 4-year-old who hates the dark to bed every night and listening to him cry. Last night was one of my insomniac nights. Normally on those nights I get up and quietly slip into the living room to read or write; last night I couldn’t do that. To help conserve diesel for the generator, Chris shuts it down at bedtime, which plunges the house into total quiet and darkness. Last night there was nothing I could do but lie there in the dark and think. Chris works so hard and the storm damage cleanup is adding to his list of things to do. He worries about making sure we have what we need, he worries about keeping the house and well on a generator; will it cause damage to the wiring or breakers? He’s tired; he’s cranky, and I’m losing the battle to remain cheerful and positive. For the first time since the ice storm I lay in the bed and cried. What will we do if we go back to school tomorrow? Chris doesn’t want to leave the generator going while no one is home; do I get coolers and unload the refrigerator contents into those? Do we let the house get cold again? What do we do when the kids and I get home before Chris and I don’t know how to start the big generator (and don’t want to learn).

I know I’m whining, and I really am thankful that we have the generators, and I know the crews from the Rural Electric Co-ops are working very hard to restore our power, but I just needed a minute for a pity party.
Okay, I’m better now, time to move on to more important topics. Please pray for my sister-in-law, Lindsay. She’s a new mom (see my post on my sweet new nephew), and she’s had an infection. Even though she’s been on antibiotics, the infection just wasn’t getting much better. Night before last she was very sick and Lance took her to the ER and the doctor admitted her. She has a staph infection and is being given large doses of IV antibiotics. Mom is at their house taking care of Landon for a few days, or until Lindsay can get back on her feet. She thought she may come home today, but the doctor has decided to keep her another night. I wish there was something I could do to help her, but I don’t know what that would be. We really don’t want to leave home and leave the generator running, so what to do, what to do? Pray! Please pray for Lindsay, and Lance, and Landon.

I had no intentions of turning this post into a novella, but it did, and I offer no apologies. Sometimes a girl just has to be a little long winded!

Beauty amid destruction

"Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns is one of my favorite songs, bar none! I find so much comfort in the words and still praising God through the storms of life. This past week, though, I was praising God through a different type of storm, and ice storm. As I lay in bed Tuesday and Wednesday nights listening to large tree limbs breaking and crashing to the ground under the weight of the heavy ice, I kept telling God, I will praise You in this storm, because I trust God will bring us through whatever trials may come our way. We are still on day 6 with no electricity, but God provided wonderful neighbors who had a very large generator, so we are able to have lights and heat. We are in a very rural area, but neighbors have been checking on neighbors (our closest neighbor is 1/4 a mile away) and all are well. I am so thankful for these people.

Mom was with us for several days and I was so happy to have her here, we were talking one day, about not having electricity and how this may have been God's way to prepare us for something in our future, possibly a mission trip? I think God has also helped us realize that we are not in charge of things, He is, and if we remember to give Him praise in ALL things, not just the good times, He will provide.

Please continue to pray for the crews from the electrical companies, especially North Arkansas Electric, as they work 16 hour days to get power restored to all the people who are without electricity. Casey has been working long days, too, and will continue to do so until all outages are restored. She's exhausted, but this has made her realize that we can't take things for granted because they could be gone in an instant. It may be 3-4 weeks before we have electricity restored, but as long as diesel and gas are available, and our generator keeps chugging along, we will be just fine.....no, as long as God is in control we will be fine!

ICED IN!

We are getting slammed by a major ice storm. Right now we are without electricity, but have a generator, so I'm posting while I can, you may not hear from me for several days. We have limbs down all over the yard, and dead (thankfully) power lines across the driveway and county road.

We slid to Mom's to get her because she was without electricity, too, so we're all here together, at least we have tv for a little while! Say a prayer for all the people in our area, we have power poles that have been snapped like matchsticks, and power lines down everywhere you look. The square at Salem looks like a bomb has gone off, no tree is intact. Casey is still at work (North Arkansas Electric) and called to tell me not to expect her home for a couple of days, the Co-op is feeding them and they are taking shifts answering phones. I just pray that this storm ends soon so the electric guys can start repairing and replacing power poles and lines. The power crews just had to give up today because as soon as they got a line fixed the ice formed on it in another place and it broke again. They can't get out to our rural areas until the storm is over. We've been told not to expect power for at least 3 days, but probably more. We have no water, either, but I did draw up enough to get us through.

I have my cell phone, if anyone wants to call, though! LOL As long as we can get to gasoline we will have heat with the generator.

Read the Bible through

Week 4
I didn't post yesterday because I spent most of the day in the bed, but it's better late than never. Here are the readings for this week.

Sunday - Romans 7-8
Monday - Genesis 12-15
Tuesday - Joshua 16-20
Wednesday - Psalm 9-11
Thursday - Job 7-8
Friday - Isaiah 18-22
Saturday - Matthew 8-10

Miracles

I heard someone say once that God isn't in the business of miracles anymore, WRONG! He IS still in the business of miracles, we just have to acknowledge Him and quit trying to explain it away with science. Accept His miracles or He may stop trying to make them happen in your life!

Why did I say that? Because, right now, in Tulsa, OK, in St. Francis Hospital, there is a little 9lb 12oz miracle. Intrigued? I thought so, so go here and read Kelly's blog about her baby girl, Harper.

Look out boys, Mamma's got some clippers!

I'm not having a bad hair day, I'm having a bad hair month! I was all set for a new Christmas 'do, (had the appointment on Christmas Eve), but fate had other plans. I've gotten calls from stylists to let me know they were sick or had an appointment and needed to reschedule me, but Kathy (the best stylist, ever!) called December 21st to let me know she was going to have to reschedule me, but the date was uncertain. No one really knew there was a water line that ran through the ceiling, but they know now. Those first really cold days caused it to freeze, and the warm days that followed....well, you can guess what happened next. I can imagine the shock on their faces when the entire ceiling, lights and all, and gallons and gallons of water came crashing down! Thankfully they reopened Tuesday and I should get this mangy mass of unruliness lopped off next week. Too bad they didn't reopen in time to save my boys' manes. Yes, I decided they needed haircuts, and rather than find someone else to do it, I just bought some clippers. Cheap clippers. I got half of hubby's head clipped and had to recharge them. I really should have taken a picture of that one, he was sporting a mullet to rival Billy Ray for about half an hour. (okay, not that long in the back...but it was getting there) Being the resourceful mom I am, I parked hubby on a bench on the deck in 17 degree weather and proceeded to cut his hair. I have to say, it looks pretty darn good....for an amateur barber. Next on the list was the #2 son, the little one. I can manhandle him enough to get his hair done. I did have more compassion and make him sit outside: I parked him on the bathroom vanity, and started buzzing. He's 4, so hair or not, he's still going to be cute. Hubby has finally caught a little of my photography bug, so he snapped a few while I was working him over.

Week 3, read the Bible through

I just realized I forgot to post this week's readings, so here they are.

Sunday - Romans 5-6
Monday - Genesis 8-11
Tuesday - Joshua 11-15
Wednesday - Psalm 6-8
Thursday - Job 5-6
Friday - Isaiah 12-17
Saturday - Matthew 5-7

Prayers for a baby girl

Please say a prayer for baby Harper. She was born Friday weighing in at 9lbs, 12oz. She has pneumonia and was taken to a NICU. Her family has requested prayers as things are very critical. She was scheduled to be placed on an ECMO (heart/lung bypass) machine, but the last news I had, she was responding to other treatment (prayers at work)and was taken off the list for the ECMO. You can read more about Harper on her mom's blog here or on her grandad's blog here

I believe in the power of prayer, and I believe in miracles.

Week 2 - read the Bible through

I'd planned on posting several times this week, but it's been another busy one. Our semester tests were Monday & Tuesday due to a couple of snow days before Christmas. Wednesday night was Awanas & church, and I had to talk a little while afterward, and Thursday we took Austin to the allergy clinic in Little Rock. I guess it just wore me out! We did find out that he's allergic to dust mites, and pet dander, along with most pollen from the various plants & trees we have in the area. He also has mild asthma, but we're loaded up on asthma meds and will begin allergy shots in a couple of weeks.

Now to the good stuff, the readings for this week:

Sunday - Romans 3-4
Monday - Genesis 4-7
Tuesday - Joshua 6-10
Wednesday - Psalm 3-5
Thursday - Job 3-5
Friday - Isaiah 7-11
Saturday - Matthew 3-4

I got a little ahead this week because I just couldn't stop reading some of the passages. I went all the way through Job 8, and read from Matthew 1-4. When you look at the scriptures with fresh eyes and really try to get a mental picture of the happenings, it makes such a difference. Honestly, it was like reading a great novel to me, I just couldn't put it down! I pray that God will give me a zeal to really dig in to the scriptures and to make it real and personal to me. I pray the same for you.

Read the Bible through

Sunday - Romans 1-2
Monday - Genesis 1-3
Tuesday - Joshua 1-5
Wednesday -Psalm 1-2
Thursday - Job 1-2
Friday - Isaiah 1-6
Saturday - Matthew 1-2


As in most churches across the country, we, as Christians, are being challenged to read the Bible completely through in 2009. So many times I have made this resolution, and so many times I've gotten to the books where you have long lists of "begat a son....and the son begat....and begat...and begat..." until the only word I recall from the passage is begat. Then discouragement sets in and I think, "Maybe I'll skip this book." so I usually do, then I get behind, then something comes up and I don't get to read my Bible like I should. You know the old long list of excuses. This year, however, I am challenging myself to stick to it, to read the Bible completely through in a year. Not only am I challenging myself, but our pastor is challenging the whole church. He has even created a handy checklist and reading plan for our convenience. (talk about being spoon fed...I depend on that spoon.) Each Sunday I will do my best to post my list for the week. I hope you can join me and help hold me accountable to read the Bible through this year. And just in case you can't find the post, it will be the one with the Bible (because you know me, I hate to post without a picture!)

***OH, and one more thing, I challenge you to read your Bible for the true history book it is. Put yourself in the places of the people. Think more deeply about the lives and how they managed from day to day. What are some of the struggles of these people. They were REAL flash and blood and their voices should still be heard. If God thought we should know about them don't you think it's worth putting all your effort into?